


Superheros Don't Get Scared

by DefendersofMCUniverse (GeekMom13)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Drug Use, Getting Together, Locked In, M/M, Wade is drugged during a fight, Which means Blood, team fuck canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23371036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekMom13/pseuds/DefendersofMCUniverse
Summary: Peter, fresh out of college, gets invited to the tower to stay in one of the guest floors that has been left unoccupied for some time since the previous tenant ‘hero’ decided to leave for unknown reasons.Of course, a few weeks into living there and getting into a routine, the last hero pops onto his balcony. Peter offers for him to stay on his old floor because the dude looks like he could use a familiar place, and also dude is kinda terrifying, and like hell he is gonna admit that to the other heroes in the tower.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 194
Collections: Lock Down Fest





	Superheros Don't Get Scared

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChickenGoesMoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenGoesMoo/gifts).



> I want to thank YamiLlama for inspiring this fic with the prompt in bromantic, allowing me to write it, encouraging my crack, AND being my beta. Seriously, we have a certified rockstar.  
> I'm now officially at half a million posted words!
> 
> Also, canon is just. Well, pointless outside of where I pluck characters from and a couple of random landmarks.

Peter loved his new place. Aunt May had moved in with her boyfriend, and Peter stayed out the lease on their place- really, it was wonderful to see her so happy after everything. He was pretty sure she only stuck in until he graduated college out of a sense of nostalgia. When the lease was up, Tony had gently reminded him of his place at the tower.

Peter was shuffling his boxes in a week later, slowly emptying out the apartment he had spent his life in. Bucky and Steve had helped him with some of the awkward to move things, happy to experience Tony’s look of horror at the decades-old couch being dragged into the abandoned floor. 

He had settled in well, years of working with the Avengers had meant he was used to movie nights. Only now, he didn’t have to be aware enough to swing home. It was awesome. Really it was, even if he couldn’t find out much about the Avenger- _not Avenger, Pete_ as Cap had reminded him- that used to live on his floor. 

“So, I need to grab some paint,” Peter announced when he arrived in the main room.

“Just have Fri note where and we’ll send someone to do it.” 

“Well, I feel bad. I keep finding… _things_ I need to paint. Just give me a gallon, and I’ll be happy to fix it up myself.”

Tony had a very specific look on his face every time they were mentioned. His eye would twitch, and he’d look like stocks dropped a good hundred points in an hour. 

“Plus, I’m used to upkeep. Do you even _know_ what I had to hide from Aunt May when I first got my powers? And not to mention the first few web trials. I destroyed _so much paint._ So, just point me at the paint-”

“It’s fine Pete, just let the men Tony pays do their job,” Bucky started with a smirk, “It’s not like they haven’t spent thousands of hours up on that floor-”

Tony slammed down the tablet he was trying to pretend he was using, cutting Bucky off. “We do _not_ talk about him. No need to corrupt Underoos.” 

“Tony, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be _corrupted._ It’s just another superhero.” 

“That’s debatable,” he grabbed the tablet and headed towards the elevator, “I’d rather not risk it. Fri, tell me if anyone breaks the rules. Non-enhanced lose elevator privileges, enhanced get locked out of the gym. And all upgrades get shuffled to the bottom of the pile.” 

They barely heard the response as the elevators closed. 

“So… anyone willing to spill?” 

* * *

Peter didn’t have to wait very long after that to find out everything about the previous occupant. Because one alien attack later and there was a bloody, partially regenerating, red-clothed blob of man on his balcony just before the year had closed in on his new home.

Which, technically, should have alarmed him much more than it did. 

But he was honestly more shocked when Tony came bursting in practically screaming at the blob. 

“Seriously? You can’t just use the elevator, _the one made for you when you’re all bloody?_ I swear you _enjoy_ this!”

There was a wheeze and- oh- the man-blob’s chest was pretty well fucked, Peter should probably help. His brain tried to remind him that hey- people don't generally stand with holes blown clear through their chests, but Peter was in ’Avenger’s are weird’ acceptance mode. 

“I know we’ve had this talk before. Yes, glass cleans easy, but the _joints,_ Wade. All the fancy little window panes. _Those do not clean well,_ and the cleaners don’t like being up this high. I don’t like upsetting them! They’re nice people! And your blood is already dripping three floors down! We do not need another _Stark Towers just as bloody as his past_ headline, Wilson!” 

Peter pushed Tony back and watched as the man ignored his hand to stand up, coughing a few times before he answered. Yup, this man was officially on Peter’s list of people he should and will fear. And not just because of the ridiculous amount of weapons that Peter keeps spotting stashed on his body.

“One- George loves me.” 

Tony sighed. “George quit.” 

“Huh. Who took his place?”

“Fred.” 

The man waved his hand. “Fred is dead. _Anyways,_ he’ll love me too. But _B,_ my key didn’t work, or I would’ve been inside quicker. And Triangle-”

“What? Not box?” 

“Says the man with multiple voices all around his tower. Anyways. Stop interrupting, target practice. I’ve already told you I’m happy to fix anything. You just won’t let me.” 

Peter snorted at that. “At least it’s not just me, then.” 

Tony spun to say something to him before the man pulled off his mask. Peter might be a little into him already- which was definitely a talk he needed to have with his libido because _not the time._

“Well, well, I see target practice found himself a pretty little twink. I’m Wade, what’s your name?” 

Peter squawked, and Tony sighed. “This is Peter. He lives on this floor now.” 

Wade pouted. “But I thought you loved me.” 

“Never. Now we can have you move into the-”

Peter cut in. “No, it’s cool, there’s plenty of rooms. Like really. I do not ever need five bedrooms. I don’t mind.” 

Wade tossed an arm around Peter and started walking down the hall- and Peter noticed the blood everywhere. Which explained all the weird spots he’d found it in. Friday curtly informed Wade he needed to wash, and Wade invited Peter in with him, but Tony shouted a no from behind them. Peter pried the arm off his shoulder, ignoring the sound that Wade made at being overpowered so easily, and walked back to Tony. 

“See, _this_ is why you should’ve talked to me. Now, I’m completely unprepared,” Peter teased, “a small, defenseless little-”

Tony cut him off with laughter. “Point made. We’ll go to the main floor, and you can grill everyone,” he directed them into the elevator, ignoring Wade’s commentary on what parts of Peter that weren’t small. 

“Including you?” 

“Nope.” 

Peter tried to protest, but Tony was shoving him out of the elevator and heading down to his lab. 

“So,” he paused when he saw the others looking at the window, “I see you already know. Awesome. Tell me about him.” 

Most of them shrugged and looked towards Steve. 

“Well, he’s been gone for a while now, and I was just barely here at the same time as him, and, well, he wasn’t well balanced.” 

Peter snorted and motioned around the room.

Steve pursed his lips- and maybe a decade ago, the disappointment rolling off him would have made Peter back down. 

“We dress up in fancy special clothes. _And take on aliens,_ Cap.” 

Steve sighed. “And we’ve _all_ almost died. Once, twice… Well, you know how long nightmares can last.” 

Peter had to try not to flinch. He still had issues if his blankets were too heavy.

“Imagine dying _hundreds_ of times, and escaping death thousands of times. You don’t come out the other side of that okay, son.” 

Peter nodded and sat on the couch. He was starting to think that it was a bad idea to invite the bloodied man to live with him. Maybe Peter should offer to move out for a bit? Then he glanced around the room. No one else seemed too worried about it- so Peter decided that he’d deal. He already took the dude’s floor, no need to run away and leave him alone if he was feeling off-kilter. 

Plus, superheroes don’t get scared.

He stayed long enough to feel like Wade would have been given enough time to get all settled. He waved everyone off when they asked if he was staying for pizza, figuring it would be better to get to know his new roommate. 

* * *

Peter regretted every decision in his life that lead to his new roommate looking at him like _he_ was the irrational one for assuming that the giant katana he was using was one of his favorite murder weapons. Wade had been around for a couple of days, and Peter still wasn’t sure about much of anything when it came to him. 

_Apparently,_ the dark grey handle meant this was the _kitchen katana,_ while the black handle was the _killing katana._

“Seriously. You can’t murder and macédoine with the same blade.”

Peter shook his head. “Yes. _That_ is-”

“I mean. Do you even know how bad cannibalism is? No, I refuse. I have met the people I fought. I don’t need to worry-”

Peter slapped a hand over his mouth and ignored the fact that Wade was licking his palm, like a _child._ “You’ll forgive me. Most people use the knives that get sold in the kitchen section of the store to cook with and not the- weapons part of the store.” 

Wade lifted an eyebrow.

“Shut up.” 

Wade looked down at Peter’s hand and slowly licked his own lips, carefully pressing his tongue into Peter’s palm before making eye contact and winking. Peter squeezed as hard as he dared before shoving Wade back and walking away. He needed to exercise to deal with this crap. Wade was definitely scary, and he didn't blame most of the team from avoiding the man. 

He ignored all the comments on his ass as he walked away, opting for the stairs instead of listening to that for ten more seconds to wait for the elevator. 

Bucky was happy to spar with him for a while, not bothering to pull punches like they would with the others. Even Steve still pulled his punches, and Peter really needed someone who wasn't cautious and let him get all his aggression out. They both forgot why Peter had stormed in by the end of their match. Peter dragged Bucky up to his floor for their traditional pizza and trash tv binges. 

They were arguing over dating shows or ‘reality’ when a crash reminded Peter of the issue. 

“Honey-boo, I woulda cooked more if I knew you were bringing guests.”

“We still aren’t at nicknames, Wade.” 

Wade dramatically- though, everything he _did_ was dramatic- fell to the floor, exclaiming his undying love for Peter, calling him cruel for shattering Wade's fragile, barely regenerated heart. And suddenly, all the pent-up energy was back. 

“C’mon, doll, I think he’s got a point.” 

Peter glanced between the two of them and shoved Bucky towards Wade. “I’m going to take a shower. Woo the grumpy one and leave me alone.” 

He heard twin sounds of protest behind him, and that really should have been his first clue at just how _bad_ of an idea this was. Instead, he came out to found both men smirking up at him from the sofa- his sofa, the sofa he used to eat his Aunt’s cooking on- throwing terribly cheesy lines at him. 

Peter decided to call it a night and have Friday blackout his room.

* * *

Wade was incredibly useful in battles as long as you were firm about who was allowed to die or be otherwise maimed. Peter had been assigned Wade’s air support, dropping him places and shooting little splats of webbing on people he was allowed to harm. 

The first time Cap instructed Peter to drop Wade somewhere; he had very loudly proclaimed that there was no way the dainty little webs would handle his added weight, even if Spidey might be strong enough. Peter was professional enough to not mess with the fight, but after flinging Wade around the battle, he took his revenge. 

“C’mon, Webs, you can’t leave me like this.” 

Bucky walked up to where Peter was staring down Deadpool, who Peter _might_ have left stuck to a wall with a bit of webbing on his hand, dangling a few feet from the ground. “I was ’bout to see if you two were gonna join the rest ‘a us for food, but I can see he’s a little tied up.” 

Peter shrugged, and he hoped his smile was evident through his tone. “I’m sure he’ll be free in no time. It’s just a few _dainty little strands_ after all.” 

Bucky tossed his arm over Peter’s shoulder, and they watched Wade struggle for a bit, trying to tear free from the wall. “Guess it’s just us.” 

Peter left one of his suit drones to make sure everything was fine- and maybe for a blackmail clip. “Yup.” 

Tony was practically giddy when Friday, and Karen informed him of the delay.

After that fight, Wade never questioned him and generally didn’t take orders except from Peter. That’s why they developed the system for when Wade was allowed to kill, and when he was supposed to only injure or restrain and return the person to the team. Bucky had decided at that point to change Wade’s call sign from Deadpool to Murder Kitten. Peter greatly debated if it was worth dropping Cap’s boyfriend bound and gagged for explaining that Wade was like a housecat leaving Peter presents and expecting pats after. 

Wade responded by buying a cheap headband with glittered black cat ears. 

On the _plus side,_ there were fewer instances of Wade bleeding all over their floor than when he lived alone, at least according to Tony. Wade also loved making food for everyone, somehow managing to find the best recipes no matter what, and always making enough that when Peter, Bucky, and Steve needed a little more food for their metabolism, leftovers were waiting in the fridge. 

Tony had just stared at Wade and walked away, muttering about house training. 

Peter didn’t bother questioning how his reservoir upgrade moved up the list so fast. He just enjoyed the fact that he could fight easier and longer. Everything had hit a new normal, and people stopped asking when Wade’s building would be completed, even joking about him being the newest Avenger. 

Which, considering their collective luck, should have thrown up all the red flags they had. 

They were just returning home from clean up with a few samples for the lab when one tiny little bot scampered up and stabbed through Deadpool’s suit and injected him with something. He dropped everything in his arms and ran to the elevator. Peter ran after, catching up right before Wade closed the door on their rooms, already yelling to the ceiling without noticing Peter sneaking in after him. 

“Friday, girl, tell me you know the Bad Stabby Protocol.” 

_I do. Do you wish to engage?_

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” 

_Confirmed._

Peter cleared his throat. “Bad Stabby? As opposed to?”

“Shit, no. Baby Boy, you need to leave.” 

Wade went to open the door, but a steel panel dropped as he approached. “No! No, no, no! Fuck. Baby Boy, I need you to shoot me.”

Peter stared at him.

“A headshot,” Wade held out one of his guns to Peter, “Then do your little clingy thing down the side of the building before I regenerate and find out exactly what the effects of this are.” 

“Yeah,” Peter stepped back, “That’s- not gonna happen.”

“I won’t die.” 

Peter pulled off his mask to glare at Wade.

“Okay, fine. Technically I die, but, like, my existence just pauses.”

Peter kept glaring.

“Oh, come on. We do not have time to philosophically debate death. Just shoot me and escape.” 

_I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Mister Wilson._

“Why not!”

_Under the Bad Stabby Protocol, all occupants of this floor are locked in until all contaminants clear their system._

“Oh-kay. But Petey-Pie wasn’t stabbed.” 

_Scans inconclusive._

“Fuck.” 

“Wade, it’s fine- I’m-”

Wade cut him off. “Do you even know how dangerous I am?” 

Peter shrugged, ignoring how Wade pointed a gun at him. “If it becomes an issue, I’ll stop you.” 

_Sirs, Mister Stark is asking for an update._

Wade started to explain, but Peter cut in. “Wade got drugged.” 

There was no response for a bit, probably Tony analyzing the scans that had been taken as soon as Wade put them on lockdown. Peter tossed Wade a bottle of water and rolled his eyes at the gun still pointed at him. 

_Peter? What is going on?_

“Like I told Friday, Wade got drugged. We’re fine, though.” 

_I don’t like it; I’m trying to override now and get you out. Which, by the way, Wilson, we’re having a long talk about you fucking with my AIs._

Wade laughed. 

“We’re fine. I’ll let you know if it changes.” 

_Keep on the web system._

Peter rolled his eyes but agreed, pushing Wade towards his room. “Sleep time.” 

“Are you going to join me?”

“No. Now, suit off and put away. Friday, lock it down once it’s all there.” 

_Of course, Peter._

Peter wrinkled his nose when Wade started to undress. “Change of plans. Shower _then_ sleep. And Fri, can we, like deep clean his suit?”

_I’m sure it can be arranged._

Wade made a face at him but allowed Peter to shove him towards the bathroom, with extra clothes. He did not need to see mini-pool again right now. Peter spent most of Wade’s shower finding and locking away more weapons. Friday pointed out fifteen that he had missed, and by the time Wade was finished, Peter had even managed to change into some sleep clothes, keeping on the web-shooters. 

_Peter, I have an analysis of the contaminant. It is a new chemical makeup, but we are fairly certain its a hallucinogenic compound. Sir regrets that he can’t lift containment until we know more about it, should it be transferable._

“Yeah, okay. Any reason to think he’ll go all… merc-y on me?”

There was a pause. _Doctor Banner says it’s unlikely, but that cannot be factored out._

“Great,” Peter muttered, “Thanks, Fri.”

He opened the bathroom door to see Wade dumping shower gel on the floor with a smile. This was going to be a long- however long this trip was going to take. 

“Wade?”

He hummed.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s magic. It piles up. I can make it coil if I squeeze just right.” 

“That is science, not magic.” 

Wade narrowed his eyes at the growing pile of gel. “Then magic and science overlap.” 

Peter snorted. “Never let Tony hear you say that.” 

He dragged Wade out of the bathroom once the bottle was empty, stopping him from tossing him onto the bed (ignoring the manhandling comments). “Fri, can you put something amusing on until I can get him to sleep?” 

The lights dimmed, and Peter was pulled into the bed with Wade. Wade seemed happy to cuddle him as they watched through Fantasia. Friday seemed to skip all the parts where the conductor talked, which was helpful. Wade stayed quiet through the first song, still enough that Peter thought he might be asleep. Then the faeries came on screen to spread the dew. 

“They have your legs.”

“They do not.” 

“Is that science too?”

Peter went to object but then thought it over. “Technically, yes.” 

“Hm. Science is weird.” 

“It is,” Peter agreed, gently rubbing along Wade’s neck, careful not to press on his scars too much.

There was another lull until mickey came on screen. This time Peter knew Wade wasn’t asleep- he kept wriggling until Peter’s hands were where he wanted them. Maybe Bucky had been right calling Wade a cat. 

“Now, this is definitely magic.” 

“I agree; it is.” 

Wade smiled up at Peter. “I knew magic was real.” 

Peter laughed and pointed back at the screen, and Wade wiggled around again, settling except little dances to the music.

“Ugh, the sorcerer was a dick.” 

“Well, Mickey wasn’t exactly-”

“Nah. big dick. Bigger than mini-pool.” 

Peter sighed. “Okay, yes.” 

Wade huffed, and Peter thought he would gloat again, but he just snuggled into Peter’s side, happily watching the screen. He’d let out occasional comment on the colors, going off on tangents about various parts of his life. Magic seemed to be his main fixation throughout. Peter had to stifle a laugh when Wade started to yell at all the dinosaurs. Unfortunately, when they died, Wade crawled into Peter’s lap and cried until the soundtrack was shown. 

“Petey, can you see that too?”

Peter hummed. “It depends on what you see.” 

Wade spent most of the clips describing what Peter was pretty sure was more of a lava lamp than the dancing string on the screen, but it was adorable, and Peter couldn’t find it in his heart to tell Wade the truth. Luckily, the next song proved to be just as distracting, and Wade ended up falling asleep by the end of the symphony. 

Friday slowly lowered the volume and display a screen near Peter, asking if he wanted to watch the rest, but he shook his head. The movie and sound faded into nothing gradually, careful not to wake up Wade. Peter gently pulled away and went to his room to update everyone. 

Friday kept scanning him throughout and reporting to them and Tony. It took almost two days for the drugs to leave Wade’s system, and Peter got to watch many more cartoons, smiling as Wade continued to argue with himself about the existence of magic. 

_Sirs, it appears the contaminant is entirely gone._

“Thanks, Fri.” 

Peter turned around to find a grinning Wade. “I know how I can prove magic is real.” 

Peter’s eyebrows scrunched, and he was about to ask Friday to scan again when Wade pulled him in by the back of the neck and kissed him. Peter had a response about biology being a science, but Wade was making a pretty good show, and maybe, just this once, Peter could let his brain shut down. 


End file.
